dutchster:

don’t you hate it when money goes away when you spend it

keithsmoons:

Can I pay for concert tickets with my tears

(Source: ebbievebber)

Alice: How long is forever?
White Rabbit: Sometimes, just one second.
― (via invisible-depression)

(Source: realizes)

soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”